I Won't Let You Fall

"Mommy, don't let me fall!" she said. I responded, "Do you trust me? I'm right here. I won't let you fall." How many times in my life have I desired the same thing? I've wanted to be protected, to be vulnerable and allow someone to protect me without a doubt that I wouldn't get hurt. The reality is that I let myself ride a bike, go full blast and was not protected. My heart wasn't protected so it was broken. Now here I am thinking my daughter trusts me completely to catch her if she loses her balance on her bike that she's riding for the first time without training wheels. She's trusting that I won't let her down. It's my job now as her protector to make her realize and choose the people in her life that will do the same thing. It's my job to teach her and it's no small job.

• She is more than enough. She is pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough. She is enough. The first time someone makes her feel like she's not. Goodbye.
• She is beautiful exactly the way she is. She doesn't need to compromise her dignity in order to make someone else think she's beautiful.
•  Sometimes putting another person's needs before your own isn't a good thing. It makes me think of when you are on an airplane and the flight attendant does her spill at the beginning of the flight and says to place the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else. As a parent that's a hard concept for me to wrap my brain around but it makes perfect sense. I can't help my kids breathe if I'm not breathing. It's that simple.
• Trust your gut. If it feels weird in your gut, then don't do it or stop doing it.
• Taking care of herself is perfectly acceptable. In my own life my motives have been questioned about why I would go to the gym, why I would run, why I got my hair done, why I painted my fingernails. The motivation in someone else's eyes was that I was trying to attract attention to myself. The actual motivation was just because I enjoyed working out and feeling and looking healthy. I will encourage my daughter to do the same.
• Do not settle. On anything. Ever. She deserves the best. I don't mean material things either although she does have an insane love for shoes at an early age. I'm talking about the way she's treated and who she surrounds herself with. She doesn't need a BFF who puts her down. There are plenty of other BFFs in the sea. She doesn't need to settle for a guy who gives her the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way regardless of whether it has to do with her or not. Silent treatment is a soul killer.

I'm sure my list will grow as she gets older and at some point in her life she'll deal with saying Don't Let Me Fall and someone letting her fall. That is life after all. In the meantime, I'll do my duty of making sure I'm not the one that does it....even if it takes running down the road in the squat position while my legs are on fire so that she doesn't scrape a knee.

Love

I've heard the question What Is Love so many times. Scripture says that God is Love and goes on to say that love is patient, kind, doesn't keep score and love perseveres. So the definition itself is easy. My question though is What Does Love Look Like?  I'm a mom so I found out on July 13,2003 the moment I laid my eyes on that cone head bluish colored non-screaming baby boy that I was deeply, madly in love. I knew that moment that my every breath after that would be for him. My heart became a little more full of love when I gave birth to a 9 pounder with no epidural and then again when my sweet love bug entered the world. My question What Does Love Look Like isn't about that cone head baby. It's about the kind you choose to give. I believe that loving our children isn't a choice. You just do. Period. No question.

To love another person that you open your unchained heart to is another story. That is a choice. But then what do you do with it? Do you selflessly walk this earth with your heart wide open? Do you allow another person to get so close to your inner most places that you are afraid or is it a comfortable place to be? Does the risk outweigh the reward? What I mean is does the risk of choosing to love and letting yourself be completely vulnerable to someone who can rip your  heart to shreds outweigh the chance of waking up every morning knowing that you are giving that piece of yourself to someone completely that's going to totally nurture it?  In return, do you nurture theirs in the same way? Are you that person's biggest fan, loudest cheerleader, encourager, shoulder, comforter? Are you their safe place?

If you are telling someone you love them I would like to encourage you to be sure that you not just say it. What are you doing to make her feel like a million bucks when she feels like an ugly ole copper penny? What are you doing that evening when he has a rough day at work? Nagging? Complaining? Or do you even know how his day was? Did you ask? 

My current status obviously shows that I didn't always practice what I'm preaching. It wasn't for lack of trying because Lord knows I did...over and over again, I tried. 

My hope is that my current status doesn't become someone else's just because the choice to love wasn't there. Loving the unlovable is never easy but it is a choice and it does persevere if you let it.

Canvas art

On a rainy Saturday the kids and I were in Michael's craft store. While the boys took the Rainbow Loom bracelet making class I remembered some ideas I had seen on pinterest. Just so happens the canvas was 60% off. I grabbed a few packs and some paint. I taped off the first letter of their names and they went crazy painting. After it dried I pealed off the tape. They turned out very much like their personalities. 

Then we decided to do some free printing on the bigger pieces. I was impressed at what they did. My 10 year old wanted to paint something for his art teacher, my 6 year old did a butterfly and my 5 year old painted flowers I sketched on with pencil. We will definitely paint again  soon. 

More Becky

C25K

I've taken a lot of time off from taking care of myself. I'm ready to make it a priority again so I've started the couch to 5k app...again. It's a great program and it got me ready before so I'm on week 6 now. It was a 5 minute warm up walk, 10 minute run, 3 minute walk, another 10 minute run then 5 minute cool down walk. My second 10 minute run I had to walk a little bit because I got a cramp. Hate that. Feels good to be moving again. Couldn't have asked for better weather either. 72 in December is ok by me! 

And Becky's at it again