Choose

I've had to make some tough choices. What is best for my kids? What is best for me? What is best for the man I've loved almost my entire life? Things had come to a point in my marriage that made me realize that it was best if we no longer lived together. This is by far the hardest decision I've ever made. It's really easy to tell other people what choices they need to make. What appears to be, from the outside looking in, an easy decision to make. Another person's problems always appear black and white. Our own problems have layers, shades of gray, dark places and very light places.  I started asking myself questions like-Is love enough? Am I enough? Will things ever change? Will time heal broken hearts?  Then the more practical questions-How will I survive alone? How will I fall asleep without him next to me? How will I handle the whispers and rumors? How will my children handle living with both of us...just not together? 

It's now been almost 3 months. Some of my questions have been answered. Others will one day be answered. Until then, I'll survive, take care of my kids and keep falling asleep with my sweet 5 year old chatter box every night.